Now I See: Not So Random Probability

Recently, there has been one topic which happened to be on my mind for a while - just didn't have the time to write it up, but since I found a few extra minutes this morning, I'd guess its about time to update my posts too.

It revolves pretty much around the common saying that life is unfair. Well, to start off with, after deep thought, the statement itself is invalid. What determines fair and unfair in life? What determines justice for wrong deeds? Does killing one merit the killing of the killer? These are all in actual fact, derived out of our very own, personal opinions, don't you think? Who decided that its not fair to get punched and not punch in return? An eye for an eye? Its pretty much us. Science has nothing to do with it. While, well, there's the law that every force in any direction will generate an equivalent force in the opposite may probably apply, lol... Well, that's not pretty much the topic now though, but more on the 'luck' part of it.

Many people believe that life is unfair, and luck goes to certain people who then get to enjoy life or get blessed more than others. Well, if that is what you might want to call luck, that is. I personally do not believe in any of this - but I do believe that we have insufficient knowledge of the events and conditions around us to make the most appropriate choice. And when we fail to do so, we make a mistake, and then blame it on luck for our lack of knowledge.

Let me present it in a different angle: Consider a dice. We always think that a dice is pretty random, and whatever number we get out of a dice is out of pure luck. Well, that is if the dice was perfect, and if the conditions in which the dice is thrown every time is done perfectly, scientifically to say, in a manner that is completely random and impossible to predict. Well, usually that is - because we can't throw a dice twice in the exact same conditions as the last technically. However, consider this - What are the conditions that will decide which face of the dice will face up in the end?

1. The design on the dice itself - Is the dice designed to have all sides equal? Is the material weight balanced? Any damage to the dice faces? The surface type of the dice (Which will determine how it will roll on the ground)?
2. Throwing/dropping method - How much spin is done when releasing the die? Any acceleration during the throw upwards/downwards (Determining the velocity of impact)? How far from the ground? Any contact with any objects during the fall?
3. Falling medium - What is the dice falling through? Air? Water? Air viscosity? Air pressure? Any wind? How strong is the gravity?
4. Surface impact - What kind of surface? Surface layout? Any interfering objects? Bumps?

And that is probably not the exhaustive list - Now, consider that IF we knew all the conditions and variables controlling the fall of the dice, would be be able to predict which face the dice would turn up every time? IF we did KNOW - We can predict the outcome EVERY time!

And that is pretty much what I wanted to say - Life is never unfair. It is just whether we know the rules - and i'st just whether we know the conditions around us when we are making decisions. Some people may make 'lucky' decisions despite their lack of knowledge, while others may not - but that doesn't make luck exist. On the other hand, there are some who constantly appear to be successful and always happy, etc - they have better knowledge of the game and make right decisions everytime. Feng Shui? BS. But not to completely disregard these astrological pseudosciences, to be honest - many astrologers do have many truths presented in their material - Just that their ability to 'play cheat' is obviously fake unless they could understand the mechanics of quantum physics for starters.

Ina different picture, have you ever tried to play chess with a grand master? Or just a very experienced veteran? Or play monopoly, or even DotA (for those gamers) with someone very experienced. Obviously we will lose to the experienced player. BUT what is the first thing we say after losing a few games with them? "THIS GAME IS NOT FAIR!" Now you know, these are the words of wisdom that only comes out of the mouths of fools. Its not that the game is unfair. You don't know how to play the game. Instead of blaming the game and rage-quitting - learn to play it - Because life is a game you can't quit playing without getting yourself killed.

Life has far too many rules to muster. And conditions across such a massive landscape its impossible to keep track of everything to make the best decisions every time. However, that is our duty to do our best in maintaining an operatable level of decision making every time. Otherwise, we would be one of the many who would say "life is unfair, life has no meaning". Well, since we can't quit the game, we have only one other option unless well, we really do quit the game - after which the number of players drop by 1, which means nothing much to a game of 6 billion players - still the most popular eh? So we come back to the fundamental principle - Learning is a never ending process - and well, when you've learn everything it doesn't mean you have to bully new players - you have the option to have mercy and teach them how to play as opposed to what the world is doing, which would also solve the mess were in. Well, perhaps someday, we might get lucky.



Dez

Now I See: The DIY book

It just so happens that I had the time to waste away while waiting for stuff in the oven to cook, so yeah, here comes another ramble! Well, not really, this one might be useful somewhat at the very least.

I was thinking of sharing about me and the Bible to the guys, but since that topic was discussed last week, I think its a little inappropriate to talk about it a week later, so well, I decided to put my thoughts here, which will still send the message (to some intended receivers) and allow me to have a pin up reminder to refer to next time. I guess thats what I gotta love about free storage spaces online (Well, you get to syok sendiri a bit also bah).

For introductions, I'm a very down to earth person. I don't believe in fairy tales, or happy endings and the like. Maybe thats what gives me that 'long piak' attitude at times. Don't expect any shortcuts, or miracles or anybody else to help you, to sum it up. Even in my times in school, academically, I was best in Science subjects, and I took a great interest in astronomy since I was a child. Therefore, by the time I was in Primary 6, I already had some knowledge of stuff we would learn only in Form 4 and 5. The kind of upbringing I had perhaps gave me this 'trait', me and my brother grew up around Legos, and as a result, were both quite adept at rotating stuff around using our minds (Not literally hahaha). I'm glad my bro is still into level designing, while I kinda lost interest in 3D stuff after I finished my studies (Hopefully I could utilize it again someday). The other aspect we seemed to have developed was an active imagination. You wouldn't want to know the kind of things we were talking about every day and night before we got separated. Well, given that background, generally I consider myself a realistic person, with a knack for improvisation (assuming as always - I'm not saying that everybody thinks the same as I do). Well, that is in the context of academic thoughts I guess.

I used to read books as a kid, lots of fiction at first, but I grew fond of stories which revolved around the lives of others. Those stupid Alice in Wonderland and Jack and the Beanstalk almost made me puke. So the was the time I was reading Enid Blytons mystery books and stuff - and came a time I just kinda threw all these out of the window and started reading non-fiction. Maybe after a while I wanted something real, rather than stuff thought up by others. In some way, maybe this is why I just hate Harry Potter in a way, despite the fact that the plot, writing, character development and such is amazing. In the end, the imaginations of a single lady influenced generations around the world.



Well, getting back on topic (i know, i know) - the Bible was not a book I was fond of. I neither liked it nor disliked it. I found the stories strange and hard to understand. The only story I understood as a child was of course, the story of Jesus, as any Christian child would be brought up to understand. Who was God? Sik tau. Was God all powerful, fair and loving? Nadai lah.. Parai ada lah... (as in the environment I was in at that time.. ROFL) So well, I gave the Bible the label of "fiction" and put it aside, since I prefered to read something real. Well, that was until I started to understand English a little better, expanding my vocabulary, etc,etc. Then I started to understand certain books and their stories and the writing style of the Middle East in the olden times. It was over time that I started to realise and understand the content that was in this magnificient book. Please note that I'm writing from a neutral point of view here, not pro-Christian or not. This is my view of the book before I even understood the meaning of a relationship with God. And this is the most objective view I can present it as, which I assume should be fair due to my scientific background.

From an objective viewpoint, the Bible was the most comprehensive Do It Yourself book I have first seen anywhere. It talks so much about life. While I assumed that the stories were fake, when I started studying about the culture and histories of the civilizations of that time, everything recorded in the Bible is in accordance with historical records. And the original content of the Bible has been proven to be accurate over the milennia until now, which is sort of a compendium of various writings with regard to the Israelites, Judaism, bla bla bla (I forgot honestly hahaha). As I started to unravel the writings and took some snippets of the Bible in its original form, Hebrew inscriptions - I gave up there - But they are very similar in style to writings of old, like the ancient Chinese, and perhaps Arabic where sentences are written upside down compared to English.It became clear I did not need to disprove the authenticity of the Bible, so I know that what I held in my hands was something that was still original, but just perhaps translated. I went into a little bit of the olden literature and writing styles so that I could understand the strange sentences and phrases they used. It was then I realized a very surprising fact - The book titled Song of Songs or Songs of Solomon was in fact a very explicit "pornbook" of that time! (Yeah, something to wake you up). It was like, hokay.... so God apparently seemed to have some of His fun times too.. and who wrote that book? Solomon, the wisest king in the history of Israel. So... the smartest guy in the world of that time wrote a book on ahemmm.. what we call 'girls' today. Interesting.... Well, Songs of Songs is a whole topic in itself - maybe I might talk on that next time (Of course I would study this book! ROFL)

Anyway, as I read, I realized the Bible was in fact stories of real people who lived the Earth! Whether or not the miracles or magic really happened, I cannot be sure - But I can be sure there was this amazing man called Jesus who lived on the Earth and was crucified for apparently no reason apart from declaring himself to be the Son of God. The more I read, the more I began to understand the lives of these amazing people - and what was more amazing was the confirmations in line with actual historical events of the world. For example, the film 300 featured Xerxes! Hes in the Bible! Alexander the Great - Also in the Bible (If I'm not wrong) - apart from famous Babylonians, bla bla.. a lot of stuff is in there. And the book of Proverbs itself is equivalent or more profound than Sun Tzu's Art of War. I don't need to adapt a Warbook to fit into my daily life if Proverbs already talks about life. and Proverbs and be adapted into a Warbook too!

Jesus' life in itself is amazing. He taught the world the meaning of love. Whether it was from God or not, for me, it doesn't matter. What mattered was that Jesus was the first and if not the only person/prophet/wiseman/whatever to introduce sacrifice into the equation of love, and for a brother to die for another. His way of life and his teachings were amazing. He understood human nature from within. He could see into the hearts of man. And we hated that. Because we hate it when somebody points a finger at us whether we are right or wrong. And when somebody makes us 'terasa', it shows it itself, we got a problem here. So much more is covered in the Bible - Doing business, war tactics, design principles, engineering concepts, ideas about space and time, astrology, history, chemistry, health, hygiene and fitness, maths, geography, physics, relationships, family and marriage, psychology, motivation, stress/anger management, people management (Nehemiah) you name it. Its all in there. Maybe not under single chapters, but you will find it in the everyday process of living that the very foundational truths of Science are in there! And how much better to read it in the form of a storybook (I know the Bible is much more than that, but still its a series of writings of stories of people and their lives).

And that is what I found in that Book. Its a manual to life - and if you want to learn how to live life, read the Bible. I didn't believe in God at that time, but I still learned how to life from Jesus! Lets put it this way - Even if a man is not what he says he is, if what he says is true, it is still the truth - and we still have something to learn from it. There are many wise men who have held and preached truths throughout history - Buddha himself has very profound principles - though they are different from the principles Jesus preached. But if it is the truth - truth is truth and it is the real thing, so we must as well learn from it.

And of course, I'm only touching the surface of the Bible. I can now tell you honestly, ever since I dedicated my time to what I believe in now - The Bible has expanded far beyond the pages printed on it. The book itself has come to life - It has reminded me numerous times of solutions I could never find elsewhere. Choices to make, motivations, support and guidance I needed to make difficult decisions. Sacrifices I knew only God would make me do, through His Word. Indeed - I have come to realise that the Bible may just be a book - but when we learn to open our eyes and read between the lines - and when God opens our spiritual eyes and allows us to see beyond the pages - It is so amazing, so profound I cannot describe it in words. It is a whole dimension much bigger than ours, beyond our understanding. I still cannot believe how two pages in the Bible (And I still remember the pages, the last 2 chapters of James) could describe one year of my life (with exact timing and precision at the time I read it), and how it confirmed every stupid decision I thought I was making. I realised I was looking at God's chessboard, but despite having seen His moves, I still could not understand what He was up to, well, until He declares checkmate. It is almost as if trying to guess the moves of a chess opponent who is far more experienced than you. You won't be able to understand his moves - why he would sacrifice certain pieces. But all he needs is to capture the king, and its all over! I believe the Bible is the only physical access we have to God's chessboard - well other than a direct pillar connected to heaven.

Well, and that is that. Froma scientific view, the Bible is a great book. And if I had to choose to keep one book for eternity, still it would be the Bible. Whether its alive or not, never mind. But if it is, now thats a pretty nifty feature, don't you think?



Dez

Now I See: Intermission - Hope InThe Hopeless

I think I had to force myself to login and type out this post for the blog, but I guess its probably worth the effort incomparison to me logging in to Restaurant City instead (Actually, I have it open in the background - 2 birds with 1 stone ROFL). I was glad that Kenny asked us to share about the visit to the Cheshire Home just yesterday, and I'm so glad that I decided to bring the guys along because at first, the whole event would probably been just passed by. Since most of the CF guys are not familiar with the host for the event, I guess I'll give a bit of a background story to the whole thing.


The visit was organized by Wewang Care Society, a newly formed organization in 2009 to care for the less fortunate or those who needed it in any way. What makes Wewang different is that the community is mostly non-existent - In other words, its an online community forum. Essentially, this is how I got introduced to Wewang.com about one year ago. I first assisted them to design some Flash banners for their website, e.g. new year, valentines and such. Unfortunately the forums were entirely in Chinese, so I could never get into any discussion for obvious reasons. During this time, I only knew one person I call Mr. Bong who has been my connection to Wewang for the past year.


Heres the interesting part of the story - After about half a year, I kinda lost contact with Mr. Bong who also stopped making requests for the website. That was until early this year when Wewang held an appreciation dinner, which I almost missed entirely (as I somehow forgot I was invited to the dinner. All thanks to Mr. Bong for reminding me that night LOL). During this dinner was when I realized that Wewang and had the big step to become official - It was registered during the time I was 'away' and now, they were looking forward to making Wewang a full-fledged charity organization. I liked the whole idea, as the concept was very different from other charity organizations. Wewang was formed by many normal working people, professionals and students who discussed various matters online. And these people came together in an attempt to realize the idea into something 'touchable', which to me is a great step forward. Wewang is now based in Kuching, but is supported from all over Malaysia and Singapore and wherever the forums reach. Its funds are gained via donations made directly via the online members and those on the ground.


As with any new organization, Wewang also has its struggles to expand its movement and to touch more lives in the process. It was over the dinner that I told Mr. Bong that I could help him bring some people to be involved in their activities and visits - He just had to give us the channels, and I would try to bring the community. Well, that's how it went. They were unable to provide transportation last minute, so thank God I had my family's trusty Avanza : ) Well, that's all about Wewang and the strange guys and gals in the blue white shirts. Honestly, I'm not sure if there may be hidden agendas under the formation of the organization, but well, if its a channel that we can still learn from, I guess its ok. But I will try my best not to be ignorant as well. Still I believe the motive is pure from what I've perceived so far, so I think its O-K. : p

So getting to the main point (Yeah I know I probably tend to talk a lot - Call me Uncle next time ROFL) - This was the first time I visited the Cheshire Home, so of course, I was expecting something similar to the Kota Sentosa 'Asylum', but I was a little surprised. As I stepped in it seemed almost as if I were stepping into a world of its own, totally disconnected from the world outside just meters across the fence. For a moment, as I looked at the scenery (Rather the surroundings), I had this strange sense of serenity - And the strange feeling in the spirit that "Everything is fine here." This was probably due to my nature to pick up 'dark' vibes coming from any place - I know I tend to be moody especially in challenging environments (My assumptions, that is).


And that's where the fun was - In meeting the people of course. It was as always (since its not my first time visiting places for the less fortunate) a situation which I was at a loss for words. Sitting in front of me were people whom I knew needed care and love. People like you and I, with feelings, dreams, thinking patterns, desires, etc like you and I. People who are no different than us in the soul and spirit (minus physical I guess). And it was in this situation, I once again was reminded of the evil within as described by Kenny in his sharing as well - Of how selfish and self-righteous we are, that we become so stubborn and refuse to listen to anyone other than ourselves. For a while I walked around, unable to actually make any reaction or to adjust or event attempt to do anything as I tried to contemplate the situation. This feeling is hard to describe, but I'm sure everybody would have experienced it somewhere there - the invisible 'gap' between us and them. And it was truly a heavy burden, and as always, I got overcome with despair - The feeling that no matter what we did, there was really nothing much we could do to help them. Perhaps we could cheer them up for a day, but they will be there for 365 days a year. It was then I was proven wrong.


My human end wanted to cry for these people, to sympathize for them and try to help them. But there was this quiet and almost silent voice telling me, "Its not that you can't do anything for these people. Its not like they needed you." And it was true. When I saw them smile, for the first time (I don't think its first but that is what it felt like, emotions tend to carry us away haha) I was delivered a full package of joy in an instant. My spirit senses was right - We did not need to do anything for them really. These people were happy, content - and in a world of their own. Free of our world. Our world of pain, our world of stress, our world of death. Here in this little world, everything was life. For a moment, I saw God in the whole picture. For the very rare times, I saw family as God intended. I saw love as He intended. And I could not find a trace of hatred, a trace of prejudice or even sadness (Well, perhaps a little, I did see some of the patients in despair especially some of those who were left in the wards, but that was not the point I was trying to understand).


As mentioned by many visitors there, it gives us a reminder to appreciate all the little things in life. As I looked through the photo albums and materials on display, I saw the disabled taking on a life of their own. These people were far from the less fortunate we tend to see them. They were involved and active in so many more things than we would imagine. It is out of our human nature that the 'kesian' part is actually us looking down on them, assuming that they are disabled that they cannot do certain things that we feel that we should sympathize with them!


One of the most interesting individuals I met was probably this guy called Pancho (I was really glad Lionel got his number hahaha) who apparently learned how to make little beady key-chains (Gigantic in some cases) by weaving nylon strings with beads and tying them in certain shapes. What really touched me was the time I was browsing through his 'catalog' of key-chains. After I found out that they were selling the key-chains as souvenirs, (and thanks to a free key chain, so I had money to spend more ;p) so I stooped over his pile and asked him if I could buy one. And he responded so eagerly almost like a child, and I looked around for something interesting. As I picked up each piece, he identified each one, e.g. mouse, or sth sth and what really amazed me was his reaction when I finally decided to take one (For another reason because my guard was growing weak by now, if you know what I mean ;p ). He literally burst out in joy with one of the biggest smiles I've probably seen in a long time out of the corner of my eye. I tried not to look at him in the eye for fear of bawling in front of everyone (Which is not so good for my f-a-c-e). I realized that this fella had more heart than most of us over there. It was truly an amazing sight to behold - As Jesus' words came back to mind, "to be like a child". I then passed him the ten bucks for the key-chain. Well, here's a little funny part to it - The price tag was RM8, so well, yeah you know. I wanted to give him all the ten bucks, but I just couldn't help it but wonder if I was going to get change LMAO. I had to slap myself several times to knock that out - but I saw something so different compared to other people when you give them money - First they look at the color, then the figure then they keep. This guy had no idea or at the very least he didn't care what I gave him. He even asked me to just take what I liked. Apparently, currency has no value in a charity home (duh...). But this guy reminded me of a lot of core values I know our society has abandoned. I have very very rarely, if not never seen any grown-up outside such a home with such a pure heart.


Joy was something that was prevalent throughout the visit. My human side was in despair, trying to figure out how I could help these guys, how I could change something for them - But while I was worrying, I realized that the joy being radiated from these souls were truly the real deal. I don't think I would want to expose them to the kind of shiet we have out there. It was more like I wanted to protect these people and the place they live in. To preserve the kind of environment Christians envision in the world someday. While not everybody there was happy, I knew that this place was a treasure. And when Lionel took Pancho's number, I knew we must come back again some day. I know I can't get to know somebody just to leave them behind and never come back.


At some point in time, our human souls will fall into despair. In my definition, that is when the human nature truly dies. If I were to describe it, I would say I would rather die than live to see this world in the way it is. That's what my human soul is saying. Though, the spirit is different, as it is driven by God, and the spirit drives the soul, and the body - So in the end, my despair is probably sourcing from the nagging dying body - but perhaps that thorn in the flesh might continue to give me a reality check every now and then. I feel its necessary to remember our roots I guess.


We live in a world where pain and suffering reigns. There are many more people like those in the home who have not been so lucky, who have been caught in the crossfires of our society. There are many more in much greater suffering, much greater pain, and much more difficult situations out there that we must brace ourselves to be ready for service whenever and wherever He calls. I am glad that such homes are being operated by saints of all religions and various backgrounds. These are the 'medic stations' for the victims who have been rescued. We need to keep our eye open for those who are still wounded and left to die on the battlefield. Its a message that we need to draw ever closer to God, the only source who can empower us with the capacity to care for others in the same way Jesus did. It is only in that capacity can one truly understand what is the meaning of love.


There were a lot more individuals in the home that day which I did not mention here, so as to shorten an already extremely long post. I would probably summarize that every human being, you me and him, are all made the same, and seen equal in God. We all have the same mind, the same soul, the same spirit, the same needs, the same emotions. Every one of the less fortunate out there are like us. Imagine if we were in their shoes for a day.. Perhaps it would be the most boring day ever, or the most difficult and agonizing? (You do realize they also need to go to the loo right?) And they live through that day by day, the same way we live through a different type of messes each day.


As heavy as my heart was, I knew that these guys at the home and found the secret to happiness. They found out a lot of truths as God intended it to be. And its constantly a great reminder to us to count our blessings, and more importantly, to know our place in God - that we are not much more different than our neighbor. And more importantly, to truly have these people as role models for us to live as - they deserve the highest form of respect and praise - and yet we are inclined to look down and sympathize with them. It is we who truly need their help in some ways.




Dez

Now I See: Passing The Mandate- A Message For All Young Christians

Greetings to all members and believers of the faith. It is my greatest joy to witness the fellowship growing the way it is today as we have been going to challenging times in the past. For me and the leaders of the past, it is the fulfilling of a promise God has made for us a long time ago, and I'm grateful that I've managed to hang around long enough to be able to witness this day. I would first share a little bit on the history of the fellowship which has founded its roots long before I even came to study at Inti.

The Christian movement at Inti started off with 2 clubs, namely the Christian Fellowship and the Catholic Youth Society. They were headed by 2 charismatic youth leaders, Priscila and Pius, both with different background and vision. Initially both clubs were operating exclusive of the other - We rarely communicated or even spoke with each other, well that was until the Christian movement began to falter about 4 to 5 years ago. It was under these circumstances that we realized that there was a need to unite the Christians under the same roof. It was then that the ICCF was formed, and its founders were officially Priscila and Pius (Which I believe the names should be passed on in honor of their deed to put differences aside and to unite their members).

There were many little bumps along the road but the ICCF was suffering from a greater problem - We were slowly losing members of the faith, particularly because many members were completing their studies and moving on while there was a lack of new members from new students. We had struggles within the fellowship itself as the leaders had to develop a message that was suitable for a majority of the members who were still young believers. As a result, many senior members failed to get the spiritual food they needed, and as a result, the African Fellowship wing of the ICCF was founded. The African Fellowship was eventually stopped after its key members completed their studies, and the remaining members either joined the new Believers Love World Fellowship or merged with the ICCF's other members.

The internal distribution of members of the fellowship triggered more concerns as we struggled to feed and develop the young Christians and to meet the needs of the older Christians. Our membership continued to fall to a point where there were only 3 members left active. The majority of new students did not attend our fellowship, and those who have been attending eventually got weary of the it as well. It was during this time we realized that we need more real Christians in our community. It was truly saddening that when we looked into student records, there were a large number of Christians who were in fact living in the hostel. We had failed somehow to retain our members and to develop new leaders to sustain the Christian movement on campus. It was also during this time that I realized I had to make a decision to decide where I was to support the Christian ministry. Naturally, as most of you could guess, I decided to stay behind. Logically speaking, there was no need to support the Churches at that time as many had their support systems active with a population to support while here, there was a dire need to revive the Christian movement and to ensure that the ICCF legacy is passed on to future generations. There was a point in time that the ICCF was about to meet extinction due to the lack of members, but that's all history now.

Well, this is where my story starts. Until then, I was probably what one would call a nominal member of ICCF. The founders decided to move on and as I understood, I was given the task of finding the successor to lead the fellowship. Officially, I was the ICCF president for 1 semester, though the president made up for 33% of the members at that time. The ICCF was literally inactive at this point in time as I had to struggle with my final year project, as well as my final semester, in addition to leading the Hostel Association. It was during this time that we found Mdm. Agnes, one of the important key persons to the revival that we are experiencing now. It was a very strange introduction I would say, as Mdm. Agnes suddenly approached me in church and asked me if we could help host a concert at Inti. Members of the Young Adults Fellowship at my church wanted to host a Leap For Joy concert on the 29th of February 2008. As we needed something to do, I agreed and worked out the logistics to have the event held at Mary Yek. It was indeed a wake-up call that when we had like zero members, we actually held our very own first Christian concert at Inti! There was previous concerts but those were by outsiders mainly. It might surprise some of you that Planet Shakers once had their foot set in The Mary Yek hall. I truly believe that this place warrants God's presence and a plan for revival - its only in the place where the hopeless reside, that there is space for hope to grow.

I did not understand what Leap For Joy could mean though - I was suffering from 3 ends at this time - One a key project far behind schedule, a dying club, and a pressure buildup of what if's. I'm not sure how I pulled through this time - I even left the hostel for 2 months so that I could find the peace to work on my project. Thankfully, all things came to pass - God certainly did give me the peace to work it out, but mind you, I still had to do every single little thing needed to finish the tasks. I believe this is how He operates. He won't make the miracles for us like Moses times. We now have seen God, experienced God, and well, its just that we need to learn to trust Him in everything we do. As such, He grants us the capacity to execute His will - and we become a part of the miracle itself! Mdm. Agnes was then requested to be the new advisor for the ICCF (I can assure you, you do not need to know who the previous advisor was - He/she kinda did not exist)

We desperately needed a sign of hope, something that would just breathe life back into the fellowship before we could get in gear to fulfill any vision. Time came to pass, and it was time for me to leave and pass the mandate (as I decided to term it) - This was quickly done with the Hostel Association. However with the ICCF I knew I had to choose carefully out of the new students. Many of them would not be aware of the ICCF, and most would eventually back out if I were to approach them with a One Step Plan to Presidency. Its was here were a very interesting transfer took place. Out of the very few times Priscila and I chatted online (yeah, it was the old days where hand phones did not really exist) and we were discussing about choosing a new president for the club. And while we were both talking away, we began talking about this person Priscila just knew as Juliet and whom I never met (but have seen). So Priscila was going about her being a new student, and I was talking about someone I saw who seemed to be capable - And as the story goes, we figured I was talking about the same person, and well honestly, I was lazy to look further anyway. So we both decided to test out my theory, and well, the rest is history once again. The timing and the results of the appointment was indeed a miracle in itself. Although there were many young Christians in the group, they were somehow brought together under a common interest, in this case it was of course, fun! While this wasn't the kind of ministry I expected in the first place, I realized it was necessary to have before we could bring people back into the serious task of sustaining the ministry. This of course doesn't mean we leave fun behind - but its just that the fellowship we have, has a directive to fulfill the purposes of God.

It is now almost 2 years since, and I've decided that its time to reveal the promise and the vision I believe God has given to the ICCF. With every story there was always 3 parts (In referral to the story of the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem), the carrying generation, the starting generation and the finishing generation. The carrying generation has long come to pass - the generation to bear the message and pass it on. Juliet has started the work of revival and now its time to finish it and pass on a legacy to the next generation. While the promise and vision isn't anything that special or something we would not think of, the bottom line is that we Christians should be the real deal. The real shiznit compared to everything else around us. We should not be like everybody else. We should not be suffering from the same problems like others do. And to achieve this, it takes a great deal of training and understanding of God's Word. Otherwise we will fail, as our human strength can never accomplish this. Its because of Jesus that we are different after all.

I have been keeping that promise for 2 years now, that one day, our people, the young people and the growing Christian believers will rise to a point that every generation, every other circle, will bow down in honor and respect for what we are accomplishing. Inti was a hellhole to begin with, and I have spent enough tears on something we presumed to be dead. The beginning of the prophecy is now being answered. The ICCF is becoming a key figure on campus to channel activities and events. If this all comes to pass, indeed, the ICCF will be the leader for all to see on campus. Its still a long way, and lots of work to be done, and more importantly we cannot rush it, but only at the pace of the fellowship. It has always been my focus to direct and guide the younger generation of Christians (in terms of faith, not age) so that they are well equipped and that they will be able to accomplish greater feats for God. The next generation will always step ahead of the current - They have a bigger mandate from God, with greater strength and greater passion simply because they started out earlier. And for old cows like me (in comparison), the new members of the ICCF have the potential to grow much faster than those of my generation. We just have to remember to set our sights on God, set our vision vertically to heaven, and keep ourselves focuses on what is important and what needs to be done. Don't ever lose out on the promise God has always been wanting to give to us.

I truly believe the ICCF can be more than a club. More than a fellowship. More than just another gathering of youngsters. I believe the ICCF will be able to stand on its own one day, where we no longer need to depend on our own churches anymore (With all due respect, our individual Churches still direct us, just that we no longer need their support for the Word) for spiritual food, but that the ICCF itself will become a new source itself to nourish the dying land around us. The world is getting worse, and its only fair that God's people are getting better! This is the belief, and vision that the ICCF had when it was founded. The fellowship itself becoming the source, the pillar of support and the key to the Christian movement amongst students on campus. A fellowship so strong that the members themselves will lead the movement, no longer dependent on the leaders only.

This is the reason why I have continued to tag along, and to spend time with the members of the ICCF while I can - because I believe my efforts spent here will bear more fruit compared to me serving in my own church. Whether God has a continued plan for my involvement in the fellowship, time will tell. But as for now, by delivering this message, my task is officially done, and the rest is for all of you to come up to the challenge and claim the promise He has given.

I believe the image of the wheels with spokes still apply. Imagine a bicycle when where you have spokes that connect every individual on the outer end of the wheel, while we have the center representing the core leadership of the ICCF. Every spoke in itself is a leader of a ministry, which reaches out in tandem with the others (the spinning motion of the wheel), generation waves (imagine the spinning Milky Way) and serving out His purposes. I believe this is the ideal, of course, we probably can't achieve this in a day, but I'm sure its an ideal we would like to aim for. Everything will come in time, take one step at a time and don't slip lest we fall back several steps. The old vision may no longer apply, so it would be wise to develop one for the new fellowship and work out the steps one by one so that eventually, we will all get there.

There is a world in dire need of love out there. And its not so far away from where we reside. Right within the campus itself we have people screaming for God, yet they do not realize it. Right within our very own fellowship, I can see members who need to claim the victory God has promised over their lives. Reality is not so far away from home. And reality is much more painful than it looks. There is much more devastation happening spiritually and physically in the world around us as I speak. And it is out of this that I believe the Christian mandate is more important than ever before. We need to equip ourselves. We need to train, We need to hold stronger to God, And finally we need to overcome reality - To prove to the world that God means business. And it all starts with us. Me. You. Fix yourself, prepare yourself and you will know how to fix others. In the end, God's ministry is personal, one to one, the individual heart, yet so big and so massive beyond comprehension - truly deserving of the God who created it all.

I would like to thank the leaders for giving me the opportunity to present this, as it has been one of the burdens I've been carrying for a while. Its difficult when you have something to say, but have to hold back until the time is right. Please to pray for all the leaders and the members of the faith - Not so much that they can pass exams, but more so that their hearts will be turned to God, and then they will pass their exams even without prayer!



Dez